


Not My Ending

by PeachyWoNiu



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x19 and 15x20 do not exist, Destiel Forever, Fix-It, Happy Ending, M/M, Picks up right at the end of 15x18, Quote: Family Don't End With Blood (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:41:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27669701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyWoNiu/pseuds/PeachyWoNiu
Summary: I came out of hiatus and stayed up all night making this and I feel MUCH better. It's pretty fluffy and dramatic compared to what I've done in a while. Picks up at the end of 15x18. I use some bits from 15x19-20 that weren't terrible but mostly this is all what I wish would have happened instead. Basically Dean gets his hunter family together and they all raid the Empty to get Cas back.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 14
Kudos: 61





	Not My Ending

~o~

Everyone knows someone who has experienced tragedy. Some have felt it themselves. But I wasn’t thinking about everyone right now. It’s always bothered me when I’ve gotten sympathies; a lot of empty apologies and platitudes. I’d cringe, recoiling at how disingenuous and forced they seemed. Because I always knew that it wasn’t the end. Not for my family.

We _always_ came back.

This time though, as I saw the inky black swallow my best friend, I knew it was different. He’d said as much himself. That self-sacrificing dumbass had made a deal and didn’t bother telling anyone about it until it was too late. Anger, confusion and disbelief rendered me mute as he vanished before my eyes.

Thoughts bounced around in my head too fast for me to process, intermixed with the image of his smiling, tear-stained face. My shoulder throbbed dully, serving as another reminder. He said he loved me. _Loved_ me. There was no mistaking the meaning. I could feel it deep in my bones. But…

I didn’t say anything.

Couldn’t.

Still can’t.

The plastic case on my phone rattled against the concrete floor. Numbly, I picked it up and turned it over. Sam was calling. Where was my voice?

_Not now, Sammy_. I thought to myself, dropping the phone. My fingers ran over my tear-streaked skin to tangle in my hair. I pulled lightly, hoping that the pain would make me feel something. But it didn’t. I was reminded again that I let Cas go to his fate without a word.

A soft sob convulsed in my chest. I tried holding it back. There was still the matter of God after all. But no matter how hard I tried to will it away, sadness reigned. A small whimper escaped at first, but gradually evolved into stuttering gasps for air. My chest burned with how fierce it ached.

I tucked my knees close as I buried my face in my hands and whispered to the ghost of Cas’ memory, “Me too…”

~o~

Stepping out of the Impala, it felt like I was in a dream. I probably was. Chuck was still around. Who’s to say he wasn’t pulling the puppet strings? Sam and Jack glanced at me curiously, but seemed more concerned with the fact that everyone on the planet was gone. They asked what happened and all I could say was that Cas was taken by the Empty.

Nothing felt right. Everything seemed forced and rushed. We came up with a plan and suddenly my face was getting pushed in by Chuck’s soft knuckles. Finally, I felt something. Deep in my gut. I shot a look at my brother out of the corner of my eye and grinned. Blood spilled past my lips and from my brow. Sam’s face looked like a mirror of my own.

Good.

_Keep hitting us you bastard_ , I goaded inside my head as I met Chuck’s gaze.

The look of realization on his face when Jack took his powers and knitted our broken bones back together was intensely satisfying. The pure horror at the thought of living mortal and forgotten was the icing on the cake. This was what he deserved after treating all of creation like toys.

We left him in the Impala’s dust and headed for the closest town. Life sprang back into existence around us. People laughing, talking, going about their days like nothing had happened. The beige dog from before bounded down the street happily. I knelt and let the little guy run into my arms as I thought back to when I’d first seen him.

“What about Cas?” I asked, looking up at Jack as my hands stilled in the long fur.

I glanced at Sam out of the corner of my eye. His brows were drawn together in such a way that I could practically see his thoughts written on them. He wanted to ask me more about what happened.

“He’s in the Empty,” Jack answered sadly.

“Y-yeah, but you – you can get him out.” Sam said, glancing between me and Jack. “I mean, Lucifer –”

Jack shook his head, “I don’t know how Chuck got Lucifer out of there. Amara isn’t sure either.”

Getting to my feet, I nodded at Jack’s chest and asked, “So, she’s in there?”

“Yes,” Jack nodded, pressing a hand to the spot over his heart. “We’re in balance and she’s happy with that.”

The three of us stood in silence. I felt Miracle’s tail whipping against my leg. When I looked down and stared into his unashamedly loving eyes, I suddenly knew what we had to do. Letting out a joyous bark of laughter, I ruffled Miracle’s ears and started toward the Impala.

“We’re not done yet,” I hollered, practically skipping. “Get in the car you two.”

“Dean, what –?”

Miracle barked, following my heels closely.

“Blaze of Glory, Sammy!”

As I wrenched open the door, I looked up over the top at Sam and Jack staring at me like I had gone crazy. Rolling my eyes, I used my keys to point at each of them and emphasize, “We’re not leaving him there.”

“But there’s no way –”

I shook my head, “You’ve been part of this family for how long, Jack? And you still can’t remember that, when it comes to the Winchesters, there’s always a way?”

Jack’s gap-toothed grin widened. Miracle barked from inside the Impala. Sam ran his hands through his hair, unable to stop a smile of his own from turning up the corners of his mouth in disbelief.

For the first time in our lives Team Free Will was finally getting to make our own choices. And our first (and possibly last if it went bad) choice was going to be to save the angel. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Alright,” Sam agreed, reaching out to clap Jack on the shoulder before jumping into his seat. “I hope you have a plan.”

Miracle panted contently as Jack slid into the backseat next to him. All three of us closed the creaking doors with a resounding slam. I turned the key in the ignition.

As the engine roared to life, I gripped the steering wheel and answered determinedly, “We’re going to need _everybody_.”

Both Jack and Sam got out their phones, riding on the high of the excitement that I was giving off. I slammed my foot on the gas, causing the tires to spin and squeal. Passersby around us shot dirty looks in our direction, but I didn’t care. They were soon small blurs in the rearview mirror as the Impala raced down the road heading west. Toward the bunker. Toward home.

~o~

Boom boxes, rotating lights, noise makers, even a few fireworks started piling up on the table in the center of the bunker as more and more people arrived. Charlie, Stevie, Donna, Jody, Alex, Claire, Kaia, Garth, Bobby, and every hunter we could get a hold of all crowded in. Adrenaline kept my body moving as I made room for everything and everyone.

“So, what exactly is the plan?” Charlie asked, quirking her brow in my direction. “And what’s with the random junk?”

I flashed her my most charming smile and replied, “Once everyone is here, I’ll explain.”

Curling her arm through Stevie’s unsurely, she nodded and settled back into the chair next to her girlfriend.

I passed by them and a dozen other bodies on my way to my room. Miracle trotted next to me, tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth as he panted. All my mind had time for was getting everything we would need together. I went to my dresser and started rummaging through the drawers.

“Dean,” Sam’s voice came from the door, full of concern. “Can we talk?”

I paused briefly and snuck a look at him. His whole body took up the doorway. But it was his face that really caught my attention. He had that trademarked Sammy look going on.

The pair of socks in my hand dropped as I let out a shaky breath. It didn’t do much to help ease the feeling of hurt that had been festering in my chest, but it made turning and facing the inevitability of this conversation a little easier. Clenching my hands into fists, I quietly nodded.

Sam closed and locked the door before dragging my desk chair close to where I’d posted up on the foot of my bed. Neither of us said anything at first. It felt like Sam was struggling with how to begin. I couldn’t even look at him.

“I – I don’t think I can, S-Sammy.” I whispered. My voice struggled against the overwhelming urge to cry as I thought of the blissful smile on Cas’ face right before he was taken.

His brows furrowed even deeper as his jaw clenched in concern. I chewed on the side of my lip as I looked up into my little brother’s eyes. A tear slipped out, falling onto the top of Miracle’s head as he settled between my legs. I rubbed at his ears to give me time to breathe.

“What happened, Dean?” Sam asked gently. His hand on my knee startled me but I didn’t brush him off. The warmth from his palm and the lack of judgement in his voice was helping to calm me.

It was as if he was silently telling me, _It’s okay. It’s just you and me here._

Taking in a deep, shuddering breath, I started slowly, “Billie had us cornered in the storage room behind some warding. I really thought we were done for. But Cas…Cas made a deal with the Empty. Before. To save Jack.”

Sam’s eyes widened, but he didn’t interrupt.

“He said – he said that it would take him when he was… _happiest_.”

My voice broke and faded. I hung my head as my body began to tremble. Miracle whined and put his head on my leg, blinking mournful brown eyes up at me.

Sam had no idea what to think. I could see the gears in his brain turning as he tried to piece together how the Empty got there when Death was literally knocking on the door. A vision of Cas’ smiling, tearful face flashed in front of my eyes yet again and I felt my heart beat sluggishly around the dagger that was that memory.

I couldn’t hold back any longer. Didn’t want to. Burying my head in my hands I sobbed, “He did–didn’t give me enough time!”

Sam’s arms were around my shoulders in an instant. My tears soaked into the front of his shirt as he pressed my head to his chest. I gripped the fabric tightly, reliving the moment of Cas’ lips forming the words ‘I love you’ over and over again.

I couldn’t speak much after that. And Sam didn’t pry. He just held me until I could once again breathe properly. Wiping at the snot dripping out of my nose with the back of my hand as I sat up, I chuckled mirthlessly, “Now that we got control over our lives…I can’t seem to turn off the waterworks.”

“Dean…”

I glanced at him and saw the disapproval. Before he could continue, I hung my head and murmured, “I know…I know…”

Making a half-hearted attempt at a smile I got to my feet, stood tall, cleared my throat, and said, “We’re getting him back.”

Sam also stood, meeting my gaze and agreed resolutely, “Yeah. We’re getting him back.”

I nodded, running my hand over my face one last time before I went back to my dresser to start digging in the drawers once again.

As Sam opened the door to my room he asked curiously, “What are you looking for?”

“Our prison break theme song,” I muttered distractedly, reaching far under a pile of forgotten shirts.

My fingers brushed hard plastic and I grinned. Pulling out the cassette, I held it up triumphantly. Sam quirked an eyebrow, but I didn’t answer. Instead, I slipped past him, patting his shoulder as I headed down the hall. Miracle trailed after, his claws clacking against the shining linoleum. I heard Sam’s faint chuckle as he too followed.

Back out in the main room, everyone stood nursing beers and talking amongst themselves. As soon as I emerged, they quieted and turned to look at me. Feeling the adrenaline coursing through my veins once again, I boosted myself off of a chair onto the table piled high with our supplies and called, “Okay, everybody, listen up!”

The background noise immediately died as people gathered around.

“Some of you have never met Castiel,” I said loudly, looking around at the faces turned up to look at me. “But let me tell you that everyone in some way or another has been helped by him.”

I met Claire’s somber gaze and gave her a nod.

“If you think Sam and I are legends, then you know who Cas is. He’s…he’s the best part of who we are. Sure, he’s messed up a couple times – we all have – but he’s never given up; never stopped trying to be better. He summoned the Empty to take him to save _me_.”

Soft murmurs of acknowledgment and surprise ran the rounds. Blue eyes flashed across my vision as I continued, “We are hunters. All of us. We fight for what we believe and who we lo-love. I know I’m asking a lot. I know that, but…he would do it for us. _Has_ done it for us. And I won’t leave my family down there to rot.”

The crowd is silent. I shuffle nervously as I look around at their unsure faces. Doubt creeps in and I can feel my shoulders drooping in disappointment before I notice Jody step up next to Alex and Claire. She places her hands on each of their shoulders as she says decidedly, “For family.”

As the girls smile at each other, Donna steps up, winks at me and nods, “For family.”

Soon others step forward and echo, “For family.”

Warmth spreads across my chest as I look around at the hunters. Sam’s gaze catches my attention and I see a genuine smile spread across his face. He didn’t need to – I knew he would come with me – but he also called out, “For family.”

Smiles and tears spread throughout the room as we all realized what we are to each other.

Motion out of the corner of my eye catches my attention. I turn and see Eileen standing with a bag slung over her shoulder, Miracle there to greet her with a wagging tail. As she stoops to pet him, others in the room notice her arrival.

Petting Miracle, she smiles awkwardly and asks, “What’d I miss?”

Sam is across the room in seconds. Catching her completely by surprise, he puts his hands on either side of her face and kisses her. Whoops and sounds of awe ripple through the crowd at the sight. When they pull apart, they only have eyes for each other, silently speaking about everything in their hearts. After a moment they break apart.

When Sam looks across the room to me, I see something in his eyes that I wasn’t expecting in that moment. Apology. Sheepishly, he puts his arms around Eileen’s shoulders and pulls her in to his side as other hunters step up to welcome her. My mouth drops open when I realize why.

He knew.

“ _Son of a bitch_ …” I breathed in disbelief.

I hadn’t even said what Cas told me. But he knew. My smart, nerd of a sibling. Of course, he figured it out. Which meant he knew why I wasn’t able to tell him outright what happened.

Before I could give him any sort of reaction, Claire asked loudly, “So what’s the plan, Dean? We gonna go kill the thing that took our angel?”

Eyes turned once again to me. Clearing my throat, I looked away from Sam. I thought of Cas and his words that were constantly bouncing around in my head.

“No,” I smiled, hopping down from the table. “We’re going to go annoy the crap out of it.”

~o~

“Dean, can I have a sec?”

After my grand speech, I laid out exactly what we were going to be doing. Putting together contraptions that would make as much noise as possible after going in through the portal that Jack would open for us; Blaze of Glory style. Jack and God both had mentioned how upset the Empty was that it had gotten “so loud”. If it wanted to rest, it would have to give me what I wanted to do so.

I left the other hunters in the main room to start construction while I headed to the storage rooms with some of the others to get anything and everything that might be able to help us. But when I heard Jack, I stopped. I motioned for the others to go ahead.

“What’s up, kid?” I asked, heading down the hallway a way until it was a little more private.

He stood in front of me picking at his cuticles with his head down.

“Jack,” I grabbed him by the shoulders and squeezed them gently. “You can talk to me.”

Hesitantly, he met my gaze and muttered, “I know. I’m just…scared.”

“Scared?”

He was the new God. What could be frightening to him? It seemed he knew what I was thinking.

“I understand why you don’t want me to go into the Empty with you.” He muttered, scuffing his sneaker against the floor. “That’s not what’s upsetting me…”

I’d told him earlier when I was explaining the plan. He was too important to risk. All of creation needed him.

Staring right into his eyes I said, “I’m here, okay? Talk to me.”

He searched my face for a moment, silently looking for something. Eventually he nodded and started slowly, “I’m…I’m in everything now. Every drop of rain, every spec of dust. I saw the way those people looked at me back there. They’re all counting on me now.”

He was right. It came out that he was the new God when I said he was the only one able to open a portal to the Empty. And everyone had looked at him in a way I can barely begin to explain. I saw old hurts and hopes plain on all their faces.

“What do I tell them? How can I begin to answer all their questions–”

“You don’t.” I cut in, squeezing his shoulders firmly. Jack’s eyes widened in surprise. I smiled reassuringly and continued, “It’s like you said, you’re in everything now. _That’s_ where they’ll get their answers. In every table leg they stub their toe on. In every heart ache and joy. Might not come today, or tomorrow. But they’ll find what they need eventually. If they look for it.”

For a moment it looked like he wanted to argue. But ever so slowly I saw realization brighten his eyes. After a moment they filled with tears and he let out a grateful laugh. I felt myself getting emotional too. So, to avoid any more tears, I pulled him in for a tight hug.

Pressed against the side of his head I muttered loud enough that only he could hear, “I’m proud of you.”

“I know,” He sniffed, his fingers digging into the back of my coat. “I’m proud of you too.”

We pulled away after a lingering moment. There was nothing else that needed to be said. I was confident that he knew what to do. And he knew that if he ever needed anything, his family would be there to help him.

“Okay. Let’s get to work.”

He grinned, hugging me quickly one last time before jogging in the direction the others had gone. I shook my head, smiling as I followed him.

We worked for hours. It wasn’t complicated. Mostly duct taping a bunch of stuff together onto carts and backpacks. Lastly, I strapped a couple speakers onto Baby’s roof (after a quiet apology to her). With Charlie’s help, she was able to get my cassette to play on a loop after some clever B side recording and blast out of said speakers. We all stood in the garage where all the cars were parked and tricked out to the nines with anything and everything.

I looked to Jack who nodded. I looked to Sam and Eileen who nodded. And then I looked at everyone and hollered out, “Buckle up everyone!”

As Sam slid into the passenger seat of the Impala and Eileen took the backseat with Miracle, he asked, “So, why was this song so important?”

I popped the modified cassette into the deck and double-checked Charlie’s wiring was still connected to the speakers. As I turned over the engine and cranked the volume, I grinned, “It’s one of the songs on the mixtape I gave Cas… _and_ it’s badass.”

Throwing a look to Jack out the window, he acknowledged the signal by giving us one last nod and raised his hand. In front of the doors of the garage, inky black bubbled out of nowhere and expanded. The song started up just as the portal opened as wide as the Impala to reveal the expanse of nothing beyond. Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song. I could feel the base in my bones as the speakers vibrated with the sound.

I held out my hand to my brother, looking for confirmation that he did in fact want to come along on this crazy rescue mission. He looked at it for a moment before glancing over his shoulder at Eileen. Her soulful brown eyes glittered with acceptance and excitement. Her slender fingers found mine even before Sam’s did.

I laughed before looking at my brother and saying earnestly, “Screw Chuck’s ending. We make our own.”

“Damn right.”

I rolled down Baby’s windows and stuck my fist out so all the other hunters in the cars in the garage and on foot could see the signal. Revving Baby’s engine, I looked into the Empty and muttered to myself, “See you soon Cas.”

As the front tires of the Impala connected with the Empty, I felt my stomach jolt slightly. I’d half been expecting her to topple end over end into an abyss, but she rode straight and true. The sound from the speakers on top of Baby as well as everything else echoed horribly. Almost like it was building off of itself and turning into something new and awful.

The first person to disappear was Donna. She raced ahead of the others so she was next to the Impala, honking her horn and yelling Castiel’s name into the void. One second, she was there, the next, she was gone. The guilt and sadness didn’t last long though. The Impala and everyone inside were the next to go. But instead of being blipped out of existence, it just turns out the Empty banished us back to the bunker’s garage where we’d started. I could see Donna’s truck in the distance back in the Empty.

The three of us looked over at Jack who was happy to see that we weren’t hurt. He mouthed for us to go, and I did just that. All of us would rush in only to be teleported back to where we started.

Eventually we ran out of fireworks and gasoline. We decided to take it in shifts after that, to save on energy while others went out to resupply on gas. Hours went by. I stopped keeping track.

The last time I was teleported out, I felt Eileen’s hand on my arm, stopping me. Miracle was at her feet, panting heavily and clearly exhausted from having chased after me again and again on foot.

Sam wheezed, “It’s not working.”

“I’m not giving up.” I answered hoarsely, my voice nearly gone from all the yelling I’d been doing.

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

I collapsed to the floor, noticing that my shirt was stuck to the sweat on my chest and back. Taking a few breaths, I asked, “Then what are you saying?”

“Eileen wondered if there might be something in the Men of Letters Archives that might give us an edge.”

“Like the banshee that took away my hearing when I was a baby or something like that.” She said, her hands signing excitedly.

I cast around for any reason to say no, but came up with nothing. Waving at the door that led back into the bunker, I told them to go.

“What are you going to do?”

“Have a chat.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good –”

“I gotta do this, Sammy.” I cut him off. He gave me one of his trademarked looks, but he knew I wasn’t going to budge on this. Smiling I continued, “You and Eileen just hurry.”

“Okay, we’ll work as fast as we can.”

Eileen helped me to my feet. She gave me a quick hug before signing, “Good luck.”

They were worried. So was I. None of us had any idea what the Empty was capable of. Sam gathered me into a one-armed embrace as he ordered, “Don’t die.”

I shoved him playfully and said, “Bitch.”

“Jerk.” He answered instinctually.

After a few moments of much needed laughter, we got serious. I watched as the pair of them sprinted into the bunker before turning to the others sitting exhausted around the garage. Raising my voice and pushing through the pain of having to use it I called, “Listen up, I’m going in alone! Anyone else gets pushed out tell them not to go back in.”

“You seriously don’t expect us to sit by and watch you go in there by yourself.” Claire scoffed, shooting to her feet. Kaia followed her, curling her fingers into the back of her shirt.

I smiled and strode up to her. She blinked uncomfortably as I closed the distance between us. But she didn’t back down or move.

“That’s not what I expect. I’ll need you to help Sam keep everyone focused if I don’t come back.”

She was taken aback. I wasn’t telling her to stay back or stay safe or anything like that. How could I anymore? She was an adult. Had been for a long time. Something Jody had figured out faster than me. No one could tell her what she could or couldn’t do.

“Dean…” she started; voice thick with held back emotion.

“No chick-flick moments, kid.”

She rolled her eyes, unable to stop from smiling. I gave her a wink before turning and heading toward the portal. That was when I realized Miracle was right on my heels. I paused and knelt, taking the dog’s head into my hands. He really was a miracle.

“Sorry, buddy, but you can’t come.” I murmured, glancing over at Jack who nodded and whistled. Miracle looked like he hesitated for a moment before going to Jack’s side.

As I stepped over the threshold into the oppressive nothing, I took in a deep, steadying breath and then sprinted forward. After a minute or so I stopped and hollered out, “I wanna talk!”

No answer.

“Don’t be a dick! Show your face!”

Suddenly Meg’s haggard face was in my own, her lips pulled back in a snarl and her eyes wild. I staggered back as she screeched, “Leave you pathetic, stinking ape!”

I blinked and I was back out in the garage.

“You’re not getting off that easy, ass-hat.” I grumbled, once again sprinting into the Empty.

I must have done this a dozen times. Sweat poured out of every pore I had. But I wasn’t going to give up. I went in again.

“Cas! Castiel! Wake up! Cas–”

A hand on my throat suddenly cut off my voice and air supply. I choked, clawing at the impossibly strong hand and followed the arm up to look into the Empty’s crazed eyes. She dragged me close and hissed, “I. Want. To. Sleep. I tried playing nice, but I am _done_.”

Her fingers dug into my windpipe and I felt my vision begin to spot. I tried hitting her and breaking free, but it was no use. Dimly I wondered if getting killed in the Empty meant I would end up here too.

“Let him go!” a familiar voice barked out from behind.

The Empty loosened her grip on my throat enough for me to gulp down a small bit of air. I craned to look and saw Sam standing with Eileen and Garth. I was surprised at Garth. He had a family to get back to, why was he risking so much?

“I said let him go!” Sam yelled, eyes nervously glancing at me on my knees in front of the Empty. “We want to talk!”

“Talk, talk, talk. I’m so _tired_ of it!” she growled, her grip tightening once more.

Sam started and withdrew something from behind his back. It looked like a smaller version of a French horn. At the sight of that, the Empty released me. I dropped to all fours, coughing and gasping.

“I’m not in the mood for a talent show.” The Empty hissed snidely. “Get out before I rip that pretty hair off your head.”

I scrambled back. Sam met me and hauled me to my feet as he explained, “This isn’t just any horn. This is one of Joshua’s shofars; one of seven that brought down the walls of Jericho.”

“If that’s meant to impress me –”

“It’s not.” Eileen interrupted boldly, producing a horn of her own identical to the one Sam held. “It should scare you.”

The Empty rolled her eyes and gestured with her hand. Eileen disappeared. Sam swallowed worriedly but pressed on, “According to the Book of Joshua in the Bible, these trumpets were powerful enough that Israel conquered Canaan after blowing the horns _once_.”

“I don’t know about you,” Garth said, producing a horn of his own. “But I _do not_ want to find out how loud these things can get.”

For a moment the Empty hesitated, her eyes narrowing at the gangly hunter with malice. He laughed nervously, seemingly regretting opening his mouth. Then suddenly Garth was also gone.

“Tinker toys can’t hurt me.” The Empty said, turning to look back at me and my brother. “Nothing can.”

Sam pressed the horn into my hands before stepping forward boldly and calling, “No, but - but it can keep you up. And - and maybe even wake up some of the other things in here. Do you want to deal with that kind of chaos?”

The Empty’s eyes cast around at the nothing around us worriedly.

“There’s seven of them.” I straightened, rubbing my neck and clearing my throat as I added croakily, “And who knows, maybe we can track down some other loud things that’ll wreck your day.”

The Empty practically vibrated with anger. She clenched and unclenched her fists as she paced in front of us. But we didn’t get turned into pink mists or scalped. Was this actually working? I shot Sam a nervous look but didn’t speak.

Eventually she hissed through clenched teeth, “You have no authority.”

My heart stuttered and sank. But I wasn’t about to take no for an answer.

The Empty continued before I could say anything, pinching the bridge of her nose, “I will not be woken again for the likes of that troublesome angel.”

She suddenly looked over our shoulders in the direction of the portal that Jack was holding open and called, “This is _my_ domain.”

Jack’s soft voice rose up like he was all around us, “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Too many promises have been made and broken.”

“Yes. I’m also sorry about that. It was wrong of them to manipulate you.”

I shot a worried look at Sam who answered with an unsure shrug of his shoulders.

The Empty stood huffing and glaring in Jack’s direction before all the fight seemed to seep out of her. A regal chair materialized at her back and she collapsed into it. Closing her eyes like it pained her to keep them open she muttered, “I want to sleep. And stay asleep. I like it that way.”

Jack did not respond.

“If you take the angel, eventually he’ll end up back here.” She groaned. “Doesn’t matter how long angels live, they all do. But he is _too loud_. He’ll wake me up…and I can’t have that.”

I felt nervous sweat drip from my temple as I held my breath. _Please let this work_ , I begged silently. 

“If we could _guarantee_ that I never had to see the seraph ever again,” the Empty said coyly, opening her eyes as she traced circles on the armrest at her side. “I may be willing to release him.”

“What are your terms?” Jack asked, suddenly right next to me.

Worry clamped down on my stomach and I instinctually stepped in front of him. When I felt his hand on my arm though, I looked back and saw the look on his face. Silently, he told me it was alright and stepped around me and Sam to face the Empty.

She got to her feet slowly, eyes never leaving Jack’s as an air of deadly seriousness fell between them. “The angel grace will stay behind with me. He will go directly to heaven, no mortal plane, no collecting two hundred dollars, no passing go. And he will _stay_ there.”

My eyes widened as my entire being drained of feeling. I wouldn’t get to see him? I wouldn’t get to talk to him? If he didn’t have his grace would that mean I couldn’t pray to him? No, there had to be some other option. I needed to see him.

“I’ve always wanted something to snuggle with while I slept,” the Empty added, making eye contact with me over Jack’s shoulder.

I saw the look of disapproval on his face, but he didn’t comment. I stepped forward, grabbing Jack’s shoulder, and shook my head. My voice was completely shot. All that came out was a faint, sandpapery squeak. Damnit. Once again, I couldn’t speak when it was important. It seemed like Jack understood though.

Reaching up, he touched my arm gently, “This is the only way.”

“Jack, wait –” Sam started, but suddenly was no longer next to me.

_Please don’t do this_ , I said silently, tears blurring my vision. The last thing I saw was Jack’s sad smile before I too was zapped out of the Empty. I staggered on my feet in the bunker’s garage but was steadied by what felt like a dozen hands. I blinked, the tears falling down my cheeks as I did.

Everyone was there. Sam, Eileen, Garth, they were okay. All the other hunters too. I hurriedly wiped at my face. Questions assaulted me. Was I okay? Where was Jack? Did Cas make it out? But they all quieted as the inky portal began to close. We watched with mouths open as the black substance slowly collapsed in on itself and then disappeared. The silence was deafening.

“Jack, he –” Sam started, searching my face for an answer about our adopted kid.

“I’m alright, Sam.”

Jack was abruptly next to Charlie who let out a screech of surprise. While Stevie comforted her, I grabbed Jack by the arms and turned him so he faced me sternly. My mouth opened and closed but still no sound came out. A combination of all the yelling and the choking had rendered me completely mute.

“Dean wants me to tell you that he’s grateful you all came to help.” Jack announced loud enough for everyone gathered to hear. “He says that there’s beer, whiskey, and cereal in the kitchen to celebrate.”

“Did you get Castiel out?” Donna asked, her cheeks still flush from all the previous activity.

Everyone held their breaths.

Jack smiled, “Yes, he is safe and in heaven.”

Looks of confusion rippled through the crowd, but when I pulled Jack into my arms in a grateful embrace, that changed. Soon the sound of cheering and laughter bounced off the walls of the garage. In that moment I didn’t care if everyone saw. I sobbed. Cas was free. He was free just like all of us.

Sam and Eileen herded the crowd out of the garage, leaving me holding onto Jack like he was the only thing holding me up. His hands rubbed up and down my back soothingly, understanding all of the relief that I was experiencing.

“You’re not upset?” he asked surprised.

I was. Of course, I was. Cas was in heaven and his family was all down here. But he wasn’t trapped in the Empty, doomed to relive his deepest regrets over and over again anymore.

“I wish he could have been a part of all your lives a little longer too.” Jack whispered, his fingers punctuating the fact by digging into my back slightly. “But I have plans.”

I pulled away, question in my eyes and saw Sam over the kid’s shoulder also looking confused.

Jack stepped back and looked between us, “It’s time for me to go.”

_Like for forever_?

“What about if we want to grab a – a – a beer with you?” Sam asked incredulously, his emotions causing him to search with difficulty for the correct words.

I was shaking my head in denial. I didn’t like this. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t true. Looking at the kid, I felt my throat constrict. He wasn’t just Jack anymore. He was everything.

It didn’t make saying goodbye any easier.

“I won’t be hands on.” He said, looking around the garage like he could see through the walls at the world beyond. “That was Chuck’s mistake.”

Sam’s chin trembled as he struggled not to break down. Fresh tears of my own prickled at the corner of my eyes.

Jack smiled and gathered the pair of us into his arms and mumbled into our chests, “You two, my mother, and Castiel taught me that anyone can find the best in themselves if they look for it.”

Still looking at us with the happiest and most grateful expression on his face he stepped back. Sam and I stood shoulder to shoulder looking at him.

“It’s like you said, everyone can find their answers for themselves if they look for it.” He grinned, cheeks dimpling. “Every stubbed toe and all that.”

I let out a wet laugh. It hurt but it didn’t matter at that moment.

Looking between us contentedly, he raised up his hand, waved it a little and said, “Goodbye.”

Still Jack. That was good. I smiled through the tears and watched as his body disappeared like it was being carried off on an intangible breeze.

I looked to Sam wiping at his eyes and sniffing and laughed again. Karma got me pretty fast though when it felt like I’d just gargled with razorblades. It was Sam’s turn to laugh. He put his arm around my shoulders and said, “Think you can handle swallowing an anti-inflammatory?”

_Only if there’s whiskey_ , I said silently.

“No alcohol,” Sam said as if he could read my mind. “That’ll make it worse.”

I scoffed.

Eileen stood with Miracle waiting by the door that led into the bunker. I slapped my leg and the dog came bounding over tail wagging emphatically. I ruffled his ears and kissed the top of his head. Sam and Eileen went on ahead of me, twining their fingers together as they disappeared around the corner. I paused, hand hovering over the light switch, and looked back at the Impala. She still had those speakers strapped to her roof, but she was in one piece. I smiled and thanked her silently for yet another job well-done.

The party went on for hours. None of them could remember getting Thanos-snapped out of existence which was good. Sam filled them in on how we took down Chuck, only adding to our legendary clout. I didn’t say a whole lot. Just listened to the other stories being told and watched as everyone got drunk around me as I sucked on ice cubes.

Eventually I left everyone to their celebrating and slipped away to my room with Miracle. I flopped down onto my bed and let out a heavy sigh. The faint sounds of people talking and laughing carried through the halls. But it didn’t bother me. It was comforting thinking of all the people that cared enough to go into the Empty.

I stared up at the ceiling, my eyes filling with tears one last time as I thought of Castiel out of my reach in heaven. I couldn’t speak but I prayed still:

_Cas, I don’t think you can hear me since you don’t have your mojo anymore, but I wanted to try anyway. What you did for me with the Empty…thank you. And…I want to give you an answer to what you said. But I want to do it face-to-face. When I get to heaven – whenever that may be – I’m gonna bust out of my room and come find you. So, listen to that mixtape I gave you and…and wait for me. Okay?_

A soft whine punctuated my thoughts. Wiping at my eyes I glanced down at the floor next to my bed and saw Miracle laying with his head on his paws looking at me mournfully.

“Come on,” I whispered, patting the bed next to me.

Miracle sprang up from the floor and settled in quickly against my side. I closed my eyes and smiled.

~o~

Over the next few weeks, my throat healed up, Eileen moved in, and Sam and I made the decision to make the bunker open to all hunters. There were still monsters out there that needed to be taken care of after all. Sam asked me if I was alright at one point, and for the first time in my life I didn’t try to lessen the impact of how everything turned out. I told him I missed Cas. Every day. But that I was happy being with my family here.

Months went by and we fell into a groove. Sam took up the role of coordinator and researcher. Not to say that he didn’t get out with Eileen or me on hunts. But he was a natural born leader. People, including me, looked to him for advice on everything from lore to interrogation techniques. Miracle came with me on a couple hunts. Came in handy when I went up against a Drekavac in Ohio.

Years went by. Less and less monsters showed their ugly faces. We had to get crafty to smoke them out of their hidey holes. I stood at my brother’s side when he married Eileen. They had three kids; Dean, Mary, and Jessica. I spoiled them rotten. Sam and Eileen both stopped going out on hunts to raise them. Miracle passed, but not before having a family of his own with a stray he’d bonded with when we hunted a Rougarou in Phoenix. I walked Claire down the aisle when she married Kaia. Charlie wasn’t the marrying kind, but she and Stevie got a house together in California and visited pretty often.

When I couldn’t ignore the ache in my body each morning, I decided that I’d had enough of the life. I went to my brother and told him that I was officially retiring. He was shocked.

“What about Blaze of Glory?”

I chuckled, “Yeah, think I’m over that, aren’t you?”

Sam smirked and nodded.

I took Miracle Jr., packed up the Impala and headed for Sioux Falls. Jody and I worked with Donna and fixed up Bobby’s house. Jody retired pretty soon after that and partnered up with me on an auto repair operation out of the junkyard.

Sam’s kids grew up happy and healthy. They had normal lives. When they went off to college Sam and Eileen visited my house more frequently. My bad knees thanked them for that.

Dean, Mary and Jessica also came to visit. First it was just them, but slowly but surely, they started families of their own. Holidays were loud and full of swearing, laughter and booze. One particular winter when everyone was crammed into my house, Mary found me on the porch. She took a seat next to me and asked why I’d never gotten married.

“I thought about it,” I answered softly, turning my eyes up to look at the stars.

When I didn’t continue, I met her even gaze and winked, leaving it at that. She grinned, nudged me playfully and asked if I wanted another drink. We sat out there together sipping on whiskey in silence. One of my best memories with my niece.

Life seemed to go by in a haze after that. The last monster I’d heard of was a vamp about five years back. Cancer took Eileen. Sam came to live with me, like old times. Miracle III had a litter, but this time I didn’t keep one for myself. Little Dean took up the tradition of keeping a Miracle around. I gave him the Impala the next year.

One day, while my brother and I sat on the porch watching the sun set, I realized that we’d done it. Against all odds. We’d had long and happy lives.

~o~

The sun was bright and warm. I held up my hand to block my eyes and blinked in astonishment. It looked like it did when I’d been a much younger man. That was when I realized that all my aches and pains were gone. I started and looked down at myself. Back wearing clothes that I hadn’t seen in thirty years.

“Nice of you to finally show up.”

I whipped around and caught sight of a familiar face sitting under the shade of a roof overhang.

“Bobby?”

“Look like anyone else to you, boy?”

“No, I mean, it’s just –”

I struggled to come up with an explanation for my confusion. But it seemed like the old grump took pity and motioned for me to take a seat next to him. Pushing open the cooler between us, he retrieved two chilled beers and said, “Welcome to the afterlife.”

I froze, my heart racing as I turned to look at him, “I’m…dead?”

As soon as the words left my mouth I remembered. I’d been tinkering with something in the garage and then felt a sharp pain in my head. Next thing I knew I was here. It was almost funny how boring of a way to go it was.

“Yup. Stroke.” Bobby answered, popping the top of his drink and taking a long sip. “Not the stupidest way you could have gone, that’s for sure.”

My brows furrowed in question at the cryptic answer, but instead of looking too hard into it I popped the top to my own beer and took a swig. It was bitter and watery. Just like the first beer I’d ever had with my old man. I shuddered and set it down and looked around at my surroundings.

This didn’t look like any kind of place I recognized. I thought heaven was supposed to plop me in the middle of my best memories. So why was Bobby here? In a memory that I didn’t remember ever having?

He seemed to notice the look of confusion on my face and chuckled, “Your boy Jack’s done a lot around here. Worked with Castiel to tear down the walls and overhaul the system.”

As soon as Cas’ name passed his lips, I was out of my chair. Looking around frantically I asked, “Where is he?”

“Well, you don’t really _see_ Jack, he’s just sorta –”

“Damnit Bobby, where’s _Cas_?”

Bobby smirked knowingly and jerked his chin in the direction of something over my shoulder. Before I turned around Bobby stood and said, “When you’re all settled, come in and say hello to Ellen and Jo.”

It was at that moment that I realized we’d been sitting in the shadow of the Roadhouse. But all that fell away as I focused on my heart pounding in my ears. Slowly, I turned and caught sight of the person I’d waited so long to see. He looked exactly how I remembered him, trench coat and all, but somehow better. His blue eyes caught the light even from here. He smiled stoically.

I crossed the distance between us at a sprint. Our chests collided. I held him tightly as my momentum turned us in a full circle.

“Hello, Dean.”

I closed my eyes in relief. His deep, gravelly voice was like music to my ears. If I was crushing him, he didn’t complain.

“Cas,” his name still felt natural to say. “I missed you.”

He chuckled. It vibrated between us as his hands came up to pat at my back.

“I missed you too.”

I pushed us apart abruptly, but kept him near enough so I could take in how wonderful it was to look at him up close again. Same innocent head tilt, same scruff on his jaw, same blue eyes and full lips that had haunted dream after dream.

“I didn’t say anything back,” I blurted, my mind pulling up the speech that I’d rehearsed in my head a thousand times for when I’d finally be here to tell him. “When you said you loved me, I didn’t give you an answer.”

“Dean you don’t have to –”

“I do. When we got you out of the Empty, I wanted to tell you then, but that didn’t really work out.” I huffed. “I’ve waited thirty-eight years to tell you that I – no, wait, longer. Hold on…crap, whatever.”

I made a motion with my hand like I was trying to waft away my last words. Clearing my throat, I started again, “What you said…it took until it was too late for me realize that you had always seen me. Believed in me. When you were gone, I’ve never felt more alone. You’re not just my best friend. And you’re certainly not just a brother to me. Cas…you showed me who I truly am; a man that could have everything you were always trying to say I deserved.

“You gave me too much credit when you said I changed you. There were so many times where, without you, everything would have fallen apart. I’m me because you were the best of all of us. You’re the – you’re the love of my life.”

I fumbled a bit at the end, but having him in front of me finally after all this time was making me more nervous than I thought I’d be.

Somehow my hands had drifted up and now rested on either side of his face. When we’d been alive together neither of us had ever been very touchy-feely. Punching each other certainly didn’t count. So, feeling his skin against mine now was sending shivers of excitement all through my body. I was so busy drinking in everything about him that I didn’t notice he hadn’t said anything.

I dropped my gaze shyly, wondering if maybe I’d gotten the wrong idea about what he’d meant when he said he loved me all those years ago. I was stopped from pulling away by his hands shooting up to grasp my own and hold them in place. My eyes flew up to meet his just as his fluttered closed.

In the next instant my mind went blank with sensory overload. Soft, full lips pressed against my own. Not that I hadn’t ever been kissed before. But this one was so gentle. It was like every lost moment and every tender thought between us was being conveyed. I couldn’t help but inhale sharply in surprise.

After a moment I realized I should close my eyes. Cas smiled against me and pressed closer, his fingertips dancing along the nape of my neck, sending a fresh wave of shivers down my spine. I’d imagined touching him and being touched by him like this hundreds of times, but this was so much better.

I moved my lips, carefully opening them against his. It felt right.

When he pulled away, I was left standing there with my eyes still closed. It took me a second, but eventually I opened them. A stupid grin tilted up the corners of my mouth as I muttered, “Awesome…”

It was then that the full impact of what just happened hit us. We stood out there, foreheads pressed together, laughing and crying for what felt like ages.

Finally, I heard Bobby call from the Roadhouse door, “If you two idjits have finally stopped blubbering all over each other – I need you to go get your car, pick up some folks and bring ‘em back here. Dinner’ll be ready soon.”

Rubbing at my eyes I laughed and asked, “Who’re we picking up?”

“The whole family,” Bobby answered with a smile, disappearing back inside.

I shook my head and turned to look in the direction Cas had gone. And there she was, my baby. Looking better than the last time I’d seen her. I whistled appreciatively and headed for the driver’s side. As the pair of us got in, I looked over at Cas and asked, “Is this how you’ve been getting around without your wings?”

He nodded, running his hand along the dashboard affectionately.

“When I wasn’t helping Jack, I would take her out for drives and listen to the mixtape you made.”

He said it without any hint of irony, reminding me that we belonged to each other finally. Heat flared up in my cheeks at the thought.

“Lately though I’ve been listening to whatever comes on the radio.”

I turned the ignition and listened to the Impala roar to life. Still satisfying. The radio came on loud and clear. Kansas’ Carry on Wayward Son started up.

“Always loved this song.”

I revved the engine, shot Cas a look of pure joy, cranked the volume and took off down the dirt road in front of us. We didn’t need wings. Baby flew just fine on her own.

Castiel beamed, looking happier than I thought was possible for him. For the first time in forever I felt complete. The wind tossed our hair and the music faded, I reached over the back of the seat and rested my hand on Cas’ shoulder. The gesture seemed to surprise him but after a moment, he smiled. As we kicked up dirt and coasted down the lonely stretch of road I thought of Sam and hoped that he’d get here soon. But not too soon.


End file.
